"jake? jake ryan? he doesn't even know you exist!"

I don't know about you but I have failed with a big capital F! in my attempt in keeping in touch with friends from High School. Not that I had very many. Not many at all. Most of the time, I likened myself to a Molly Ringwald character from any of the John Hughes movies of the 80's in my deficit of having a shit-load of friends, money or the men. The only difference was I didn't wear as shitty-ass clothing as she did in "Pretty in Pink". Why was I lacking in the friendship arena? I was a very shy flower. So shy, I barely smiled, talked or made myself known to the other species of the world. You know, I didn't want to be seen or as my friend said the other evening, "you know, I spent most of my time trying to fade into the wallpaper" so to speak.

A friend from my class of dear god, 1987 came into town this week and a communal meeting was on board. Some of my closet friends "from the days" decided to get together for a "HOORAH!" since most of us skipped our 20 year class reunion. I mainly skipped the reunion shindig because I was/am fat and well, painting my 4-year-old's room was more important to me than seeing people that I may/or may not tell off in the bathroom because I felt like they may/may not be full of shit. Then and now and did I mention my fatness? I thought so.

What? Me? Vocal? I know, I'm such a liar. I would never do such a thing. Well.... Maybe.

Anyway, here is a picture from last night's festivities.

Let's just say.... I'm the fat one in the blue nightgown with a good friend hanging on tight so I couldn't run and hide from the camera.

You know, if you told me 22 years ago while we all hung on each other promising undying friendships of BFF'estness while singing/shouting on the top of our lungs our Senior class song of  "Never Say Goodbye" that we would in the way distant future talk about education, health-care, deaths of family members and dead babies, families ailing and getting older, divorces and our boat load of children - I would have laughed in your face. I'm not quite sure what I thought 22 years down the road would entail for me or us. Maybe, everyone would have their own Prince Charming, a castle, scads of money and youth to continue to surround us during our last days. 

Alas, this isn't the case. While we are all thankful for what we have and have accomplished during our stay here, part of us wish our lives were a little happier, less sad, less difficult and well, not-so grown-up. In truth, we've become our parents and well, this thought scares the hell out me because quite honestly, I don't feel very grown up. Nor do I want to be.

Comments

[daysgoby]

Oh I understand this. I feel like I'm playing at being a grown-up a lot...it's even worse when I'm with my parents. On one hand, a mom and a wife, home-owner - all grown-up things! - and on the other, THEY'RE the grown-ups, not me!

[Melissa in TN]

Next year is my 25th class reunion (Class of '85--gulp!). I am already trying to work up the courage to go. Do you think weight loss surgery would have me thin by then?

I am glad you had fun with your friends.

[Kristie]

Oh. MY. Gosh! When I first saw the title of this post, I wondered why on earth you were quoting Hannah Montana ... because her boyfriend's name? Is TOTALLY Jake Ryan! Then, a nano-second later, I thought to myself .... no, wait, that's from that Molly Ringwald movie. CLEARLY Disney is stealing material from past generations. Need more proof? The high school principal on Wizards of Waverly Place is named Mr. Larritate. Get it? Larry Tate? The boss on Bewitched???

And also clearly? I have way too much time on my hands. In fact, I might make an entire blog post out of this topic.

[Alison]

No comment, just a shout out from another class of '87 babe. :)

[Angella]

eing a grown-up sucks sometimes. OK, a lot of the time.

It looks like y'all had fun though.

[a]

I'm with you Class of 1987! I do not feel grown up yet.

I'm glad you got to reconnect with old friends.

[The Glamorous WAHM]

I graduated class of '88. I so know how you feel. I don't want to be grown up yet either. Life throws mucho crapo at cha. I tell my 15 year old(can't believe I have a child that old either), to enjoy her high school years because, once you become an adult, it's forever!

[M in B]

Ditto! That's why I listen to the 80s music channel on satellite radio in the car as much as humanly possible. Those tunes rocket me right back, and sometimes I think that's where I'd prefer to be...

Hugs,
m

[ShellyD]

Damn, I'm class of 1984. I guess that makes me real old although I often feel like a 13 year old boy inside with my high level of maturity!
Looks like you guys had fun even if it did make you feel all old and stuff.

[Sarah]

Hmmm. And all this time I thought you were considerably younger than I was.... and I mean that as a compliment! My sister was class of '86... I just wanted to be her. Still kind of do, sometimes.

Awesome that you had a night out with your girls!

[Haley-O]

The "fat one"? Pah-lease. Your the gorgeous one in the blue. Seriously, you're gorgeous. (Sorry I haven't been here in a while! I was away ON A FARM, and very happy to be home now!)

[GingerB]

Hello, not only did I skip my high school reunion (fatness factor here) I also largely skipped high school so not really a loss, but I made up my mind to skip my fifteen year law school reunion only to realize the whole class was so lame no one put it together. Grown up life really does get in the way, doesn't it!

[Beth]

Great post.... one of the best "post-high school reflection pieces" that I've ever read. I can hear you all singing Bon Jovi as we speak (or, um, as I type)... "You and me and our best friends, hoping that it never ends"... man, I STILL love that song!!!

[eden]

You look beautiful ... you ARE beautiful. Inside and out.

XOX

[sassy]

I keep thinking I'll magically feel 'grown up' at some point. It never happens. I do however, feel a bit better in my skin with time... that wanting to disappear feeling has, at last (mostly) gone away.

I didn't go to any of my HS reunion eithers. Too much trouble, too far away, too many things when I think about it that made me want to cringe.

[Shannon Kieta]

Shana...
Class of 88 here...and probably ONE friend who I still keep in touch with!!! Sad I know. I was a LOSER. Fat, unpopular, you name it to be, that was me. I didn't go to my prom, because, well, no one ask me!!!!! I was shy too. But hey. I have a great life now. A wonderful husband and two beautiful kids! That's what's it's all about I guess. If we weren't the poeple we were back then, we wouldn't be who we are now. Don't I have a way with words? You looked fantastic in that picture. I think you are the prettiest girl in the group!!!! So there!!!!

[Shannon Kieta]

By the way...Sixteen candles was one of my ALL time favorite movies!!!!! I LOVED Jake Ryan!!!!

[Christine]

Aww, Sixteen Candles. *sigh*

Oh and you my dear are gorgeous. Seriously.

[Kate]

What a great picture! It's awesome that you were able to get together with the girls and reconnect.

[Vicky]

Hey class of 77 here. If you are old, I'm REALLY old. (Wait, I already knew that.) I was the same way in high school. It was funny though, after high school I dated (and eventually married) a guy from the next town over that hung out with people I went to school with. I thought all those people hated me, but my husband told me that all he ever heard from them was that I was really shy and they didn't really know me.

Anyway, I think you looked great in that picture. Glad you got out and had a good time.

[Rachel Hagen]

Class of 88, but I could have written this post. You look great & looks like a fun night out with the girls. 16 Candles is still my favorite movie ever made!

[Wendy]

your headline blew my mind because I *just* watched Sixteen Candles last night. Weird. As for high school reunions, I love them and try to go as much as possible -- class of 87, natch. Looks like you had a great time. :)

[Ashley Hast]

It's not looking good for me then. I'm 31, and I'm still not grown up. My dad is 59, and it doesn't look very good for him either.

[andy]

yeah, i have no idea when in the past 17 years i was supposed to grow up.

i have also noticed some of my mother's tendencies rearing their frightening heads.

minus the irritating nag and whine when i go to restaurants.

i like to think i bring a new batch of wacko for my kids to pick from.

i'm thoughtful like that.

andrea:)

[m]

not going to my class reunion either.

[Sarah B.]

That is one beautiful group of ladies. ESPECIALLY the hottie in the blue dress!

[maggie, dammit]

I know. I know. I always look at people (or myself) and play that, "Can you imagine if you'd known?" game. It rarely feels good.

[Jen]

Keeping in touch is really hard, and it looks like you had a lot of fun. And, you look very pretty!

[H]

I'm several years older than the class of '87 and I'm not saying how many years older, but it is more than 5 and less than 10. Anyway, I always feel like that - like I am not a grown up, I can't be a grown up and what grown up is going to step in and deal with the damn grown up issues that come my way?! I wonder if we ever feel the age we are.

[Kristabella]

I went to my 10 year reunion and it sucked. It was expensive and everyone that I hated in high school showed up and still acted like they were in high school. I've heard the 20 year reunion is better because people are older and not as petty. I'm not so sure about that.

I was just talking with one of my high school friends about the possibility of the Olympics coming to Chicago in 2016. And we're making plans like it is next year. But then we both realized it's 7 years away and we're going to be almost 40!

[Tracy in Huntington Beach, CA]

You, and your friends, are beautiful! Looks like you had some good times. wOOt!

[Zakary]

I graduated in '94 and I don't feel like a grown up at all. Yeah, I have two kids and bills out my vagina, but I still feel like I'm totally 19 and don't really know anything about anything.

Class reunions are for suckers.

[M]

Class of 88 here. No reunions for me as I didn't keep in touch with my high school friends, though I've reconnected with several of them on Facebook recently. You look great in that photo!

[Missy]

I get hit with that "not a grown-up" feeling in the grocery store all the time. It doesn't seem real that I'm buying for my own family, and not there with a list from my Mom & Dad, who are both gone now. I'm sure the cashiers always wonder why I'm on the verge of tears when I go.
Class of '91 here, and of course loooved Jake Ryan! :)

[Amberly]

Umm...while I was only 7 in 1987, I'll agree with you on all of this...I've already obviously turned into my parents and yeah, it's weird. The thing that's even more weird is watching my Mom turn into my Grandma...that's a little disconcerting to me. But yeah, if you told me and all my friends all that back in HS, we wouldn't have believed it either. Hell, it's hard to believe NOW while it's actually happening!

[Kristin]

I remember the day I stared at my friend and went "I guess we should start calling them men now, huh? Does that mean we're women now?" Because I still feel like boys and girls. When I grow up, I want to be....

[kara]

Looks like a super fun night! And you totally deserved it. And be quiet, that blue top is adorable.

Yay!

[Michelle]

Class of '89 here...that pic of you and your girls looks like you are ready to burst into "Our Lips Are Sealed"! PS - You look awesome! Where'd your cute blouse come from...I love it!

[Kris]

I can honestly say, without a doubt or the tiniest hint of bullsh*t, that you have The Best Hair of anyone in that picture. You look gorgeous in that shade of blue.

I'm a class of '90, so I believe my 20-year reunion is next year? Every once in a while, I'll bump into an old classmate, who will inevitably tell me how "nice" I was back then. I want to kick them in the shins and bellow at the top of my lungs, "How the f*ck would you know?". High school memories are not good ones for me.

[Megan]

Your nightgown comment made me snort hehe..You look beautiful and dare I say happy? Glad you had a good time!

[Noelle]

I remember having a conversation in my late 20s with a childhood friend where the words "accountant" and "lawyer" came up, and I thought, wait, how the hell can we be talking about stuff like this?! Now, a decade later, there are times when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, or just think about my age, and I wonder how I got here so fast, why I feel so old, but also young (as in immature!) and not ready for the time to be passing so quickly. Crazy.

P.S. You look fab in that photo!

[Carrie]

I completely understand. I'm 2 years shy of my 20th...I'll get back to ya on that one!

[Crone51]

I graduated in 1969 and I don't feel grown up either.

Seriously.

[Shana in Texas]

Class of '89 here - Forever Young! I didn't stay in touch with any of my high school friends. Left and never looked back! It was a small school and community. Our 10 year was okay - none of the cool (rich) kids attended. No one got it together enough to do the 20 this year. Glad you had a good time!

[180]

You know, if they could just promise Jake Ryan to be at all reunions more people might go! I'm glad your reunion came to you. Looks like it was a fun night. :)

[Melissa]

I thought I was the only one pretending to be a grown up.

I missed my h.s. reunion due to "fatness" too. And I do agree with Eden, you are beautiful. It radiates from you.

[Dianne]

I didn't got to my ten year reunion and have no plans to attend the 20 year ordeal coming up in 2011! Partly because of fatness and partly because I've kept up with the few that really mattered, which basically is my best friend and maybe one or two others. Of course since FaceBook came around I "see" more of them. The friends that matter seem to come forward with us, while some just stick to that era of time in the past.

[DeAnna]

This is a great photo! You all are very fortunate to have each other and would you LOOK AT HER clinging to you?! I love it!
Yes three exclamation points.

[Michele]

You are not the "fat one"! You look great!

[amy]

I think you look beautiful in that picture:)