history of gorilla-hair during the early 90's

Look at this young couple.

The couple where one mate has donned on a peacock-patterned vest while the other one has rudely applied red lipstick rivaling "The Jokers" mask.

Here I'm dating a souped-up, New Kids on the Block, Joey McIntyre. One on a massive roids ride or chief entertainer of the "guns" show (just so you know, guns in the weight-lifting world would be biceps. Mr. McIntyre was a big fan of shooting a few rounds my direction for his enjoyment. I would clap with glee.)

Aw-ww.... what a cute, young couple. What a mating of the 90's.

Okay, so I threw in this stupid-ass pic to show others - LOOK AT HOW MOTHER-OF-PEARL SKINNY I USED TO BE!!!! I've told you I was thin! I know by looking at me today, you would never know it..... but I once was!

My diet at the time consisted of Boca burgers and heartbreak. I think the regimen totally worked for me.

WHOA! Look at all of the hair fighting for attention here and my bulbous nose.
 

Excuse the craptastic quality here. Too bad photography doesn't translate very well with crappy printers as well as photos shoved in acidic photo albums.

As you can see, I'm dating Jesus Christ, himself. He's surly and about to go off to fish with the fisherman of the sea. a.k.a. Alaska.

The second time.

and man, while his temperamental brooding b.s. of the time didn't quite entertain me too much, my older self finds this pic to be pretty exciting and hot. In a bad-boy kind of way. I've always liked me a good bad boy.
 

Finally....

Here: I'm dating Sammy Hagar. A way young, pre-Van Halen, Sammy, circa 1994 or 5.

There's that damn red lipstick again..... but man, I'd kill for this hair color again and baby-butt smooth skin.

Hell, I'd kill for the body I had in my 20's. The whole time I thought I was fat and didn't appreciate the tiny waist and small arms. I still had linebacker legs but they were more like junior leaguers than running backs.

As usual, there is ABSOLUTELY! no direction to this post other than my contemplative state of my mind, body, soul and lack of youth on my side.

I've had quite a bit of heartbreak as of late (and the weight isn't coming off) so maybe I should revert back to the Boca Burgers to be svelte again. or maybe quite shoving shit down my throat. and exercise. and get lippo. and go to fat camp.

Yea, that's the ticket. fat camp.

In a truly horrible and non-related segue: go and check this out. You just might be happy you did.

Now, do me a favor: go and find your old tube of blaring red lipstick and start scaring the shit of your children, neighbors and country men with your screaming siren red lips as I plan on doing so tomorrow. Maybe no one will notice my ass due to my honking lips.  It's worth a try.

  

Comments

[InDueTime]

When NYEBoy and I first started talking, I told him I hated long hair and that if we ever got together, he would have to chop it off.

Explain to me why Jesus is in my bed every night? Explain to me why, when walking passed the lady at Victorias Secret, the lady said "Can I help you ladies?" despite NYEBoy wearing a polo shirt and khakis? (*cough* it's time to cut your locks of love, sweetie)

I. Hate. Long. Hair. (on guys I date.) Some guys can pull it off, but for the most part, I like 'em bald-er. lol

You're still hot, btw. Stop beating yourself up. And Rich? I totally want to recover the seat of a chair with his peacock vest.

Love you!

[Pants]

Ah, I loved the bright red lipstick as well!

And that is some ass kicking hair! Though it sounds silly I didn't understand "Youth is wasted on the young" until I was no longer young. In 7th grade I thought I was a hippopotamus because I wore a size 9. As in a juniors size 9. ARGH. My size now is practically a multiple of 9.

[Brandy]

You look great then and now! My idea is to show more boobs to offset the butt!!!

I wish I was as "fat" as I thought I was then.

[Noelle]

Look at you, you hotty!

I'm heading out tomorrow to buy some Boca burgers.

[Christina]

I would but I have no lipstick or makeup. The pics actually make me happy I have no pics from my early years I do not want to know what we thought was in back then.

[Tracy]

Good Lord, you look just like Tawny Kitaen in that last pic. All you need is a Jag.

Like you, I always thought I was fat. Unlike you, I actually was overweight at that age, but not the whale I am right now. I wish I had appreciated my body when I actually had a body to appreciate.

[flurrious]

I love these pictures! They make me want to put on my Esprit jeans with the ripped-out knee and watch 21 Jump Street.

[Sherri]

Love the photos..you look gorgeous and still do. I too, wore the red lipstick at one time lol.

[Michelle Pixie]

I cannot get over how much your girls look just like you! Beautiful!

I am pretty sure fat camp is about my only option right now as well but I am all over finding that tube of red lipstick if I can deflect the attention off of my fat ass at this point. Thanks for the tip!

[a]

I've cycled as far as weight goes - I'm now in a fat cycle, and I'm really not happy about it. But, I'll be happy to only get this fat, if this is how I have to stay for the rest of my life. I just don't want to get any fatter!

I was never a big lipstick (or any makeup) wearer, and I never went with the bright red. Fortunately, I know my limitations, and always went to professionals to have them pick out colors for me.

My problem - choosing the right bra. I was terrible at that, and it shows in every picture I took until I discovered push up bras!

[-R-]

I am still stuck on the peacock vest. Peacock vest! On a man! You have made my day a little better.

[Vicky]

Great pictures! Thanks for sharing them!

[DawnA]

I could never wear bright lipstick as I have practically NO top lip. Not cute. You (and Rich) on the other hand HAWT. Thanks for sharing the early days. And why in the hell is losing weight so damn hard as you get older. You don't think it's the empty calories in the adult beverages I enjoy do you?

[sizzle]

I look at some photos of me in the 90s (with the same shade of lipstick!) and think- man I wasted a lot of time thinking I was fat.

[Kristabella]

I really need to find old photos and get a scanner. I could amuse people for days!

I think I'm he same weight now as I was then - still fat.

[Kristin]

Every photo of me from the 90s involves Mac "Spice" lipliner, some sort of baby tee (with apron dresses or overalls or high waisted jeans) and clunky loafer shoes... and of course, the Jennifer Aniston hairdo.

[Shana in Texas]

Further proof that the 90's were Aw-Some!

[Virginia]

Oh, the lipstick. My daughter tends more toward the lipstick than I do, and I have dubbed her the "lipstick monster" since she chases after her brother with tube extended, ready to smear that dark red right on him.

[180]

I absolutely LOVE that last photo.

PS. Rich totally looks like an Alaskan fisherman. Too funny!

[Alicia @bethsix]

Dude. You were a skinnay bizznatch!

[Debby Pucci]

It's funny that you mention Boca Burgers. My daughter had bought some burgers at Costco and I had one last night and it was awesome. We are going to get more. I think I may just try that diet. Love the hair and the red lipstick. I would kill for my 20 year old body too!

[Dana]

Love the pics!

[Lori Musacchio]

OMG! You both were SMOKIN!!! I love the pics of your hubby with long hair!! He should grow it long again! JK!! Hope you're having a good week...weekend is almost here!! Yay!!

[Angella]

You two are ADORABLE. Seriously.

[TUWABVB]

You are adorable in these photos - and you STILL are. Good hair like that doesn't age my friend. I loved taking this walk down memory lane - so much fun.

[Tamara]

Cute pictures!

I am going to have to dig around and find my drama club red lipstick pictures.

[kelly]

my friends and I thought in our early twenties that if we put on more lipstick people would not be able to tell how drunk we were. one friend in particular called putting on more lipstick "shooting some lips", she would suddenly (drunkenly) announce "I need to shoot some lips!!!!!" and whip out her lipstick...

[GingerB]

All I can really say about the hair is damn, and you had really thin and enviable arms.

[Linnee]

Love the pictures! You're still such a beautiful woman.

The red lipstick reminded me of an incident with my then teenage daughters. We were sitting in the doctor's office. They were across the room, too cool to sit next to me. I heard them snickering and looked up to see them both wearing sunglasses. I guess I gave them the wtf look, then the older one said that my lipstick was blinding them. Yeah, it was that bright.

[kim (mommyknows)]

I think you are gorgeous now!

At least you had the skinny 20's, I've always been a chunk. I have the horrible barrel with legs body. >

I love that you shared the pics with us.

[Kristin]

Aw, Shana, I'm disappointed in you. With hair like Rich had, where are your 4 inch bangs? Sheesh.

I was always a rail. Toothpick. I hated the no curves part. But I saved each of my promish dresses for the daughter I ended up having one day, figuring that someday, retro would be in. And guess what? My girl's boobs were as large as my adult, post birthing boobs when she turned 12. She was in the 7th grade and could not fit her curvy self into my retro dresses.

This comment has no real direction :) I do remember the skinny, but for those of us who had zero curves, I'm not sure I'd go back there.

Did you ever braid Rich's hair?

[Ninabi]

You rocked the 90's better than we ever did. Seriously- it was like a bad imitation of Revenge of the Nerds at our house. Although I did have a tube of red lipstick, it was a pathetic attempt to be stylish. You and your husband made a very cute couple.

You were gorgeous then and you are now. We-of-the-thin-haired-nerds covet your lovely locks.

[Jennifer]

Holy hell you were a hottie! I was NEVER that thin-and geez your skin was like porcelain. This getting old crap is for the birds. :(

I still have semi-good hair, the skin varies, and we'll leave it at that.

[Debbie E.]

I love the red lipstick! Not many people can look as good with it as you, but when it works it looks fab. Me, not so much.
Happy Labor Day,

[Michele]

Isn't memory lane great!!! Or maybe not...I was actually wondering about mine today. Can't decide if I really want to go back down mine. Good for you for having the courage.

[Linda]

You are still a hottie, without the red lips.:-O.
I think your girls look just like their daddy-o. Put a dress on him, let's check.

[foundinidaho]

You are cute. I mean that. Once you're cute, you're cute whether you weight a bit more or less. I love your long hair pics. Jealous. Could never, never, grow my hair past my shoulders. It just quit growing. And, as you know, in the 80's it was all about big, long hair. Sigh.

[Heather]

love your old pics!

oh if we didn'[t waste all that time thinking we were fat and hating our bodies when we were young and perfect!

[christine]

Ah, see I was as fat as I was now in my early 20s, then I hit a super low around the end of law school and it seems like I'm going to end my 20s on the chubby side. But at any age I would kill for your skin in that one picture. Holy hot mama batman, your skin is PERFECT.

[Cynnie]

I'd need lips to wear the red lipstick on :(
I was blessed with ass instead..lucky me :(

[Katrina]

Oh m'gosh...love the old photos!! You are too cute, you two. I love it :)

[Amy]

Um, I, too, wore whore red lipstick from 1990 to 1995 at least. I, too, was thinner than now and also had a main of hair past by bra.