it's your birthday

For my birthday, some days ago, Rich surprised me (GOD! I HATE surprises....) with a mandatory interview with the powers that be at Big Brother. It seems they were having an open casting call close to us.

I was told I had to have three head shots and a quick 2 minute interview video for the dudes that be.

Luckily, we had three feet of ice and that fiasco was rescheduled due to the Gods, Angels and my lack of rolling with the flow.

Suffice it to say, Rich will NOT let me go another season of Big Brother claiming, "I am the Queen of the World! and "I could totally outwit those asswhipes in my sleep..."

In gathering my thoughts and feelings about the interview in three weeks, I wanted to have a different slant on the interview process. Something like being in control when we all know I am never in control of my shit and sure as hell not in control of me.

I have to make a two-ish minute video about myself. How I would be the better fat-assed, old-as-fuck contestant in way too fucking tight, spandex, athletic, compression shorts while riding a gigantic slippery banana - to prove all the while, this game is a mind-fuck and I SO WANT TO BE THE PLAYER IN THIS GAME!!

So, what you say? If you were the non-judging type, and would be willing....... Would you be willing to give me 20 seconds of video time to prove that "me" and old as fuck women like me, would be a great candidate for this show?

Because I believe I would be a good sport......

....and....

Life is a big 'ol game of bullshit. This opportunity would be bigger than just a game for me and the fam because of the monies, but in the end... it is a game about life, sorta - quite a few opposites and alike people are shoved together, even if they don't like themselves but they want you to like them. or they like themselves way too much but still want you to like them and you don't like them but you don't want them to know you don't like them.

Yeah, life in it's truest form.

 

Comments

[Jessie]

I would totally watch you on Big Brother! I bet you would kick ass.

[183060]

First of all... I SUCK! Happy Belated Birthday. Second, how exciting! I hope you get on the show. They'd be stupid not to put you on! Wish I could pop over and take some headshots for you. xo

[a]

Um, you could drink with the best of them, you know about rough times and being fake in front of assholes, and you have pre-teens. How are you NOT the best candidate for this dumb-ass show? I might even watch it!

I don't do video, though - can you just read out testimonials? :)

[McKenzie]

!!!!!!!!
This is so exciting! I can't wait to watch you this summer! (obviously you will be chosen)

[Deborah Pucci]

I am a huge Big Brother fan and I would love to watch you on the show this year. You go girl!

[Alison]

Yes. To all of it.

[Ashley]

I haven't watched BB in years but I would watch if you were on!

[flurrious]

I've watched maybe 15 minutes total of Big Brother since it debuted in 1859, but I would watch it if you were on and I would spend hours on Hamster Time and previously.tv getting in heated arguments with anyone who says anything even slightly negative about you (because if you go on TV, I forbid you to read about yourself on the internet -- forum posters are horrible people).

[victoria]

like an episode of BB {Brady Bunch)

[H]

I think you'd be great! Good luck!!!!

[Becki]

Wish I would have seen this earlier. Have they had the auditions yet? If not, Go with EVERYTHING - all of the drama of your story, not just the sorrow, but the joy of Thalon and how your twisted humor, became even more so. Bring all the angst regarding your girls, and your unusual job - in fact - come with your brief bio IN CALLIGRAPHY. I have a gut feeling you have a chance.