you will receive 452 emails with the above opening statement, assuring you online and brick and mortar stores are freaking the fuck out.
If you aren't, 'freaking the fuck out' well, I don't think I want to know you.
It is Day 3 of the furrior and well, I'm spiralling down the rabbit hole of being productive.
I haven't washed my hair in a week, and not sure when I last bathed. Meh, who cares? I'm not seeing anyone. My family is ignoring me anyway.
As I am an only child, I have learned to entertain me, myself and I because I was a) weird, b) lived in apartment complexes with criminals and rapists surrounding us and scoping us out and c) well, raised by a single mother who wasn't a joiner. Love ya mom!
Three days into 'social distancing' and I have made a goal for myself to do something direct and worthwhile. I need human contact though (sorta). I mean I really don't want to see anyone. Just want the ability or option to do so if I feel particularly cute and/or clean.
I am sure this venture/adventure will last like a day or so but one can try to be thoughtful and intentional.
(thoughtful and intentional sounds like a self-help book title. I hate self-help books)
I am going to send a letter, note and/or card to a friend or family member every day.
Like the olden days.
by candlelight and quill pen.
Like Jo March or more like Dorothy Parker.
I'll be adding my usual flair to each note.
Such as.....
If I like it enough, I'll have prints made for sale in my Etsy store.
hell.... over trying to save the world when peeps are losing their jobs minute by minute.
Because, I care and I want to get take-out and tip big-dog style! and yes, we aren't rolling in it...
I am very thankful my favorite liquor store is doing curbside service so all the alcoholics in town won't have to go to the hospital over the DT's.
BTW: There is nothing funny about alcoholism and DT's just in case someone wants to jump on me over basically the only sentence I have written here.
My horoscope for today: Your body is a big warehouse. There are many small compartments within that labyrinth.
hmmm. 'big warehouse'.
Figure out how to get paid for being yourself.
now that was even more of a laughable suggestion almighty stars!
This day has always been my favorite day to celebrate!!! I've called in sick to work while sitting in a bar to continue to drink with my best friend. I've shown up to a job interview still drunk because I danced until 3:30am and NAILED the interview because of my magnanimous spirit.
Now? I'm sitting at my desk, dusting off my computer and decrepit blog while watching MSNBC strongly suggesting to me how, we are in the shit.
Like MAD MAX kinda shit.
(me.... though, I don't own a shotgun and can't shoot one correctly because of my astigmatism...)
Like 1979 Mel Gibson shit.
Man, this movie messed.me.up in 9th grade! Adding to the trauma of when I watched this movie, my friend's mother dropped us off at a sketch theater because she had not a clue the theater was in essence an 'Adult Theater.'
The movie was showing because I guess they were trying to go legit? Though, some freaky as fuck old dudes, followed us around when we were the only peeps to order popcorn and drinks and wanted to go to the bathroom for very normal reasons.
I do have to say, I am waaay more partial to the Tom Hardy, Mad Max in my old age...
God, he's hot!!
anywho....
next up on my schedule?
listing some shit on eBay from my girls who have decided they don't like clothes that are not from a thrift store or Target.
I styled a wedding this past month for family. I would NEVER go out on a limb and say I am a wedding planner even though, I have a Graphic Design Degree, been in 30 weddings, worked for a florist for 7 years, do calligraphy and well, pay attention to the crazy wedding trends.
Quite honestly, the whole planning of a wedding day is stressful as fuck! Just like Graphic Design, when you have a mind's eye and another person has a mind's eye? Never the two shall meet.
Even when your mind's meet. A battle of wills so to speak come into play. Though, this situation was way better than most when people are in charge of other people's weddings.
I did the bouquets. ALL OF THEM! I could pick them apart but I won't because I don't want to show all of my cards....Though, I think they say, "Bohemian Chic."
Candles hung from the tree tops. EVEN IN WEST TEXAS! Yea!!! We didn't burn that mother down!
Surprisingly enough, this bouquet didn't fall apart. I was REALLY CROSSING MY FINGERS AND PRAYING TO THE ALMIGHTY gods all would be okay here.
last minute signage an hour before the wedding.....
However, this signage, etc., was not last minute...
There are so many things I would have done differently only because I am so green in the complete vision of a wedding. Only because I have never had to completely plan or produce a complete product. I have to say, even in all of the cacophony, I think the result was beautiful and pleasing to the eye.
Think of the most gut-clenching and offensive sandwiches one could maybe try to consume or stomach, say, liverwurst? pimento and cheese? Headcheese?
We've been offered every delicacy as of late.
Every day presents us with a new and improved disgusting poo poo platter.
I keep asking myself, "Is it Lent three months early?"
Rich's car or should I say, Rich, was in a knarly accident this past week. He was sandwiched between to vehicles which totaled his beloved "Betty." Veronica is just too vapid of a name and let's face it, their beauty fades away and she always leaves you wondering if she's playing the field.
Betty was loyal and held herself together and him during the accident.
Luckily the 18-year-old texting and driving fool, didn't kill anyone.
Message of this post and our life this week: "at least no one died."
I feel like everyday we walk around, my motto has become: "at least no one died."
thankfully.
***********************
but I am wrong. A whole lot of people are dying.
A friend's mother died and was buried this week.
A friend's son died and was buried this week.
During my friend's mother's funeral, there was the usual picture montage with music completing the setting. Most of the music, I ignored. Until, there was Norah Jones', "Come Away with Me...."
Then the start of
this.....
made me weep like a freaking baby.
The family hadn't even walked into the room.
Thankfully, the song was aborted after 10 notes.
I composed myself and was able to be less emotional and more mannequin like for everyone's sake.
I started to dress myself for the other funeral but couldn't make myself actually get in my car for it. Something about a mother losing her child made me freeze and hunker down and just be. with my kids.
I feel like I suck in so many ways for not going. Most would say she wouldn't know I was there but if she is anything like me, and she is, she knew every person who was in attendance.
*************************
Wreck, lost purse, new checking accounts, no check cards, no money December, no car, carpooling it, 12-year-old who is going on 16-asshole syndrome, no time to fix shit, pleasing everyone and no one, working hard for $8 an hour, calligraphy assignments, putting a smile on my face when I don't feel like it, free radical hormones abounding in the air at every second, dissention and more fucking crazy dissention.
Epic dissention.
Not with me, if you are wondering.
Except for the fact, I can't balance a checking book. Then again, that shit is kid's stuff if you are asking me. or him. an annoyance of sorts.
Again, I keep telling myself, "at least no one died."
Man, fuck.
I've worried more about my husband this past week than I have in the past 15-years of marriage.
On so many levels.
His life, his health; then again his life, his health and just how to come to terms with this life.
on a very tumultuous playing ground.
an unfair playing ground.
one part made of quick sand and the other made of terra firma clay.
In the end, we go on and be the great pretenders for everyone.
Make them feel better about everything.
Placate and soothe.
No worries you fucked up my life right now. I didn't need that car. It's not like it was something I always wanted.
